Letting Go

I had this housewarming gift in the form of koi fishes when I moved into this house. In fact, those koi stayed in my house for about 2 years before we shifted in. I love to spend time sitting by the pond, feed them and yes, just enjoy relaxing moments, observing and sometimes I would day-dream ... yup, thinking about life as a fish, for instance. By the cascading water fountain, I would sometimes sit for hours and feel the breeze, the calming effects of nature relaxes me. So, no doubt, I grew to be rather fond of my koi.

At first, they would panic whenever my kids are around, playing 'fish catching' or dipping their little feet into the pond, wading away. Ha ha ... that would certainly make any live beings in the water look for hiding space ya. Anyway, soon, they became used to the noisy crowd and the occasional chaotic environment especially when the children got adventurous and would literally swim in the pond!

Then one day, the friend who gave me the koi made a request. This friend had just shifted into a bungalow, done up a big pond and felt that my kois are too big now for my small pond.... I was upset but I braved myself to say 'ok' and when the day came for the koi to move out, I thought I could handle it. Alas, I broke down and cried. I just didn't realise how strong was the attachment I had for those koi. At first, my friend took only the 3 bigger ones. Then, I noticed that the rest just didn't want to eat and I thought, OMG, they are depressed! So, with a heavy heart, I got my friend to come and pick up the rest of them ... with only one request : that may they be well taken care off, feed well and live happily in their new pond .... metta ^_^

When the kois were with me, this friend of mine would come and visit sometimes. Many a time, this friend would comment on how precious and valuable the kois were, which somehow, made me feel uneasy. I felt as though I "owe" this friend of mine something even though, as per Chinese customs, I had given this friend an angpow, signifying a note of thank you in return.

Of course, this friend also bought me some smaller koi in exchange, however, those died within the next day. Perhaps, it's fated to be that way. In the end, I bought some medium sized ones from Sentul Koi where they were having a clearance sale. Thank God, these survived and seem to be happy in their new home, feeding well and my, you should see them swim ... speed is their name! Alas, I am thankful that I let go, cos now, those koi in my pond are truly mine and they are growing up to be such beauties!